Are Young Men Over Dating?

Pessimism is pervasive, yet marriage remains a central aspiration

Dating apps and social media have theoretically democratized dating for the masses, allowing people to connect beyond their immediate circles and filter for desired traits.

And yet, Gen Z dating is on the decline.

Young adults in the U.S. are going steady far less than previous generations, according to a 2023 Survey Center on American Life poll. While more than three-quarters of baby boomers (78 percent) and Gen Xers (76 percent) report having had a serious relationship in their teen years, just 56 percent of Gen Z adults say the same.

We dug into the data from Young Men Research Project (YMRP)’s May 2025 poll to zoom in on young men, specifically. We were curious to see who is thriving in the dating market and who is getting left behind. We also identified the societal and individual barriers holding young men back from pursuing romantic relationships in the first place.

We broke down the results into the following groups:

• Race (White, Hispanic, Black)

• Age (Born Between 1995-2002, and 2003-2007)

• Education (College-Educated, Not-College-Educated)

• Financial Stability (Financially Stable, Not Financially Stable)

• Political Affiliation (Democrat, Republican, 2024 Trump Voter)

• Relationship Status (Single, In Serious Relationship Currently)*- This is only for the second section, and “single” refers to all young men who are not in a serious relationship.

We were also interested in tracking the following subgroups of young men who:

• “Often feel lonely”

• Feel that they are “masculine”

• Agree with the statement “feminism is about favoring women over men”

Figure One: “I have never been in a serious relationship”

More than a quarter of Gen Z men (27 percent) report never having been in a serious relationship.

The experience isn’t universal, however.

43 percent of unemployed or temporarily laid-off young men have never committed to a partner, the highest rate among groups examined. Unsurprisingly, about two in five men (41 percent) in the younger cohort, those born between 2003 and 2007, have never been in a serious relationship, compared to 23 percent of their older peers.

Among racial groups, Hispanic young men report the highest rates of dating inexperience: 36 have never had a serious relationship, thirteen percentage points above White respondents (23 percent) and eight percentage points above Black respondents (28 percent).

Educational attainment creates marked divisions. Nearly twice as many non-college-educated young men (33 percent) have never been in serious relationships compared to their college-educated counterparts (17 percent). This aligns with long-term findings that college-educated adults tend to marry at higher rates.

While Democratic and Republican young men show relatively small differences (25 percent versus 23 percent have never seriously dated, respectively), Trump voters stand out: only 17 percent report never having had a serious relationship, tying them with college-educated young men. In other words, 83 percent of Trump-voting young men and college-educated young men have been in a serious relationship at some point. This represents a notable area of convergence between two otherwise distinct groups (college-educated young men are much more likely to vote Democrat, and are net unfavorable toward Trump).

Perhaps not surprising, financially stable young men are more likely to be currently in a serious relationship, but not overwhelmingly so.

Figure Two: “I am currently in a serious relationship”

Figure Three: “I have a ‘situationship’ or ‘friends with benefits,’ but I don’t consider it a relationship”

About one-third of young men (34 percent) are currently in serious relationships.

A small share (8 percent) describe themselves as being in “situationships” or casual “friends with benefits” arrangements.

Findings on education and employment largely align with those above. Young men who are unemployed or temporarily laid off are least likely to be in serious relationships (21 percent), compared to nearly half of college-educated respondents (46 percent). This pattern extends to financial stability more broadly: financially stable young men are more likely to be in serious relationships (39 percent) than their peers who express feelings of instability (31 percent).

While Black young men have lifetime relationship experience near the overall average, they are the second least likely of our selected groups to be in serious relationships (23 percent)– eleven percentage points below average. However, they’re more likely to be in “situationships,” (14 percent) partially offsetting this gap. White respondents report notably higher rates of current relationships (39 percent), while Hispanic young men fall in between (30 percent).

In line with the previous section’s findings, older respondents are more likely to be in serious relationships than younger ones (37 percent versus 26 percent), though differences in casual arrangements are marginal (9 percent versus 7 percent).

Republican and Trump-voting young men show slightly higher rates of both lifetime and current serious relationships than Democrats and the overall average. This disparity could be rooted in a stronger preference for marriage: 83 percent of Trump-voting young men consider marriage to be important to them (19 points above average), and 71 percent expect to marry in the near future (16 points above average). These findings fly in the face of some of the online stereotypes about young men who voted for Trump–as we’ve said before, young men defy simplistic generalizations. Interestingly, young men’s views on feminism, and whether it favors women over men, showed little effect on both present and lifetime relationship status.

In the next section, respondents were asked six questions about relationships and instructed to answer “strongly agree,” “somewhat agree,” “somewhat disagree,” “ strongly disagree,” or “not sure” to each prompt. Left to right, specific questions include:

• “I would have to change too much about myself, such as my values or behaviors, in order to make a serious relationship work long-term” (labeled “Change Self”)

• “It is too difficult to meet potential romantic partners these days” (labeled “Difficult to Meet Partners”)

• “A serious relationship is too big a financial commitment” (labeled “Financial Commitment”)

• “When it comes to relationships, there are too many social norms and rules for what is expected of someone like me” (labeled “Social Norms/Rules”)

• “A serious relationship is too big a time commitment” (labeled “Time Commitment”)

• “Women have too many expectations for how men should act in relationships these days” (labeled “Women’s Expectations”)

The figure above shows total agreement rates, combining “strongly” and “somewhat,” with darker shades of purple indicating closer consensus.

Young men across demographics see strong impediments to dating.

Their top concern is that women hold unfair expectations for men’s behavior in relationships, with 60 percent agreeing on the matter, the highest level of consensus on any issue. Nearly three in five also believe it’s too difficult to meet partners today (59 percent) and that society imposes excessive dating standards on them (58 percent). And yet, young men show less cynicism about the need to personally change: fewer than half (45 percent) agree that they need to change themselves to make relationships work, the lowest overall percentage of the questions asked.

About half of the respondents view relationships as too financially burdensome (51 percent). A similar proportion says dating consumes too much time (49 percent).

The youngest segment (roughly 18-23) is less likely to have had serious relationships, but this isn’t for lack of trying. This group is among the most likely to reject claims that dating poses too great a time or financial burden. Unsurprisingly, young men who are currently in serious relationships are also more likely to brush aside these concerns.

The lower relationship rates among young Black men appear to be partially explained by heightened scrutiny of practical barriers. This group is eleven percentage points above average in viewing relationships as too financially demanding (62 percent versus 51 percent average), and eight percentage points above average in seeing dating as too time-consuming (57 percent versus 49 percent average).

Despite higher rates of past and current serious relationships, Trump-voting young men aren’t starry-eyed. They’re most likely to believe dating is too financially draining (64 percent, thirteen points above average) and to feel overwhelmed by social expectations for “guys like me” (69 percent agree). They’re also most likely to believe they need to change “too much about myself” to sustain a relationship in the long run, a curious contradiction given their higher relationship rates.

Those most skeptical of women’s expectations include not only Trump voters and Republicans, but also young men who believe feminism favors women over men (74 percent of this group agrees that “Women have too many expectations for how men should act in relationships these days”) and those who feel financially stable (66 percent agree). Young men who often report feeling lonely are also more inclined to agree with this (68 percent) and, understandably, are the most likely to say it’s hard to find a partner these days (71 percent). Recent research from Equimundo has highlighted the pervasiveness of loneliness among young men.

Single and partnered young men hold similar views on dating, underscoring just how widespread these concerns are. Both groups are equally likely to believe society places unfair dating norms on men (57 percent) and are nearly identical in thinking women have excessive expectations (59 percent of single young men versus 58 percent of those in relationships).

The gaps open up around more practical matters. Single young men are more likely to view relationships as burdensome in terms of time (51 percent versus 40 percent of partnered young men) and money (54 percent versus 42 percent). The largest gap predictably appears in ease of finding partners: 64 percent of single young men say it’s too difficult to meet people, compared to 50 percent of those in relationships. But even here, half of young men in serious relationships believe finding partners is too difficult today, a testament to how pervasive these discontents are.

We were also interested in exploring whether traditionally “masculine” men have an easier time navigating dating, as suggested by research showing that nearly half of both young men and women believe this. We examined the subgroup of young men who self-identify as “masculine,” recognizing this is self-reported and that definitions of the term vary.

We found that these young men show an ever-so-slight relationship advantage: 40 percent are currently in serious relationships compared to 34 percent overall, and they’re only slightly less likely to have never had one (24 percent versus 27 percent average). Still, self-described masculine young men hold roughly the same views on modern dating challenges compared to the overall average on each question, suggesting that they aren’t more or less jaded about dating overall.

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Young men are conducting a cost-benefit analysis of dating. For many, the math doesn’t add up.

That isn’t to say they are the only ones cynical about dating in the 21st century.

Over three in five (62 percent) adult Americans say dating is harder than it was a decade ago, and majorities of both single men and single women are pessimistic about finding a partner they’d be happy with. As noted in our survey, half of committed young men and almost two-thirds of their single counterparts (64 percent) believe it’s too difficult to find a partner today, revealing how ubiquitous these troubles are.

Nor should one conclude that young men are altogether souring on love. A separate question in our survey found 64 percent of young men agreeing that “getting married is important to me,” and 63 percent concurring that having children is important to them. Two thoughts can simultaneously be true: dating is hard, but starting a family is a dream worth fighting for.

And yet, this dream isn’t proving equally feasible.

Those with weaker footing in the job market and lower educational attainment are struggling to find love, mirroring broader U.S. marriage trends over recent decades. Hispanic young men are more likely to have never had a serious relationship, while Black young men report greater concern about the practical burdens. Meanwhile, the most romantically successful groups–Trump voters and college-educated young men–paradoxically express some of the harshest criticisms of modern dating. The list goes on, but the conclusion is clear: young men continue to want the good life, but the pathway to love, family, and marriage today appears to be an uphill battle.

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PS. This is an area we are hoping to continue to explore via future surveys, focus groups, and interviews. Stay tuned and if you have any ideas or thoughts on potential partners please let us know.